How Do I Balance Work + Life?

Do you find yourself struggling to win at work and at home?

Do any of these resonate:

You answer work calls no matter time of day.

You check emails on date nights.

You do some amount of work 7 days of week.

You miss family events or  kids activities on a regular basis.

You answer work emails or texts first thing when you wake up.

You postpone or reschedule vacations (or don't schedule them at all).

You ignore health concerns so that you won't miss work.

Your family or significant other resents your job.

Looks like you need some practical tools to reconfigure your work-life rhythms. Still not convinced? Check this out.

First and foremost, as modeled by God Himself—you need to Sabbath.

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them. 2 And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. 3 So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.

Genesis 2:1-2 ESV

If God rested, we need to rest.

He made it a big deal, too. He created an entire day set apart for rest.

It is actually super prideful of us not to Sabbath. It's like we think we're tougher than God. "He needed to rest, but my work is more important than His." Oof. Don't be that person.

The decision for me to prioritize the sabbath and boundaries came from the realization that:

1) I'm replaceable

2) God's responsible

What I mean by that is, something could happen to me at any point, and my roles would be replaced. The church would move forward, the job would get done, the mission moves on. And, ultimately, God is responsible for His Church. It doesn't hinge on me, for good or for bad.

We are all replaceable. You can take one day out of seven—I promise the world goes on.

Next, you pick a day. A day is a full 24-hour period. It doesn't have to be Sunday.

But set aside a day when you literally do. not. work.

This takes prep. You've got to either knock out the work you might have to do the day before or plan to do that work the following day.

There is so much prep in the Old Testament for Sabbath—there were strict rules and regulations to ensure that all the work had been done so they could rest.

It was so important to God that His people did this:

“Six days work shall be done, but on the seventh day you shall have a Sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on it shall be put to death.”

Exodus 35:2 ESV

Pretty serious business.

The Sabbath was a sign of the covenant with God and His people. It was so important:

12 And the Lord said to Moses, 13 “You are to speak to the people of Israel and say, ‘Above all you shall keep my Sabbaths, for this is a sign between me and you throughout your generations, that you may know that I, the Lord, sanctify you. 14 You shall keep the Sabbath, because it is holy for you. Everyone who profanes it shall be put to death. Whoever does any work on it, that soul shall be cut off from among his people. 15 Six days shall work be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the Lord. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day shall be put to death. 16 Therefore the people of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, observing the Sabbath throughout their generations, as a covenant forever. 17 It is a sign forever between me and the people of Israel that in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day he rested and was refreshed.’”

Exodus 31:12-18 ESV

Because of Jesus, we are under a new covenant and don't have to keep the legalistic day with its rules. So, don't worry, you won't be struck dead, probably.

But it's still a sign of the covenant with us. It's still the example God set that we should follow. It's still a day we need for rest to do the work He's called us to do.

So when I established a Sabbath day for myself, I asked two questions:

1) What fills me?

2) What drains me?

I only do "filling" things on my Sabbath.

Practically, that looks like:

A longer, un-hurried quiet time

Listening to worship music or sermon podcasts

Not answering or even reading work emails + texts

Going to the gym on my time

Sometimes, laundry if it's not daunting

Sometimes cleaning

Watching trash TV

Reading for fun

Walking George

Going out for a good meal

Staying in and cooking a healthy meal

Not grocery shopping

Not planning meals, appointments, or calendaring

You have to determine for yourself what is restful and honoring to God and what isn't. Sometimes, it's trial and error to figure out what works for you. Ultimately, you will know if you've rested. Only you can feel that.

But if you're ever going to get there, you have to prep and discipline yourself to Sabbath. It won't just happen.

Second, we need boundaries [1] with work.

These will also be determined by you and God with your unique situation, but there are some basics to start.

If you are being given responsibilities that are not within your job description or capacity...

If you're working overtime too often...

Two things you'll need to do:

Take responsibility for your own feelings and responses.

Take responsibility to your co-worker or boss or spouse.

Start by saying "no."

Clearly, respectfully decline taking extra responsibilities, doing things outside of your job, working overtime, doing someone's work for them.

Say "no" to the unimportant things. Focus on bringing excellent work to the important things first.

You are responsible for stewarding your time and gifts at work. If it's not for you, don't take it.

Determine how much overtime you are willing to work based on your season of life.

Review your job description. Make a list of your tasks and responsibilities to determine what's priority.

These are some questions I ask:

What can only you do?

What can you delegate?

What can you eliminate?

Make an appointment to talk to your boss to clarify your overload or burnout.

Limit your time.

If you work 40 hours a week, 30 hours, part-time, whatever it is—find the limit.

Sit down and write out the tasks and hours it takes to do the tasks. Then schedule those hours on a weekly calendar—block it out.

You do not have limitless time.

But if you don't live by a schedule and put time limits on your work—your work will fill all of your time.

You have to take responsibility for you.

If you're dealing with a difficult co-worker and need boundaries…

Realize you are only in charge of yourself and your responses.

You can't change or control another person. You can't even make a person aware of their shortcomings.

If you are the one struggling, you are the one to fix it within yourself.

Focus on your response and managing your emotions.

Refuse to let that person's decisions and reactions affect you.

Don't get sucked into their game.

Limit time with them if possible.

Keep communication clear, concise and emotion-free.

A big one—pray for them. It works every time.

These are great places to begin if you’re working on putting more space between your work + life.

Just some things I do for my work + life rhythm:

I sabbath on Fridays or Saturdays

I don't touch work emails/texts until I've met with Jesus

I say "no" to meetings when I truly don't have the time

I truth-tell even when it's hard

I don't show up to things I'm not a part of

I say "no" to things that aren't in my job description

I don't always answer my phone

I've recently stopped working at home in most seasons

I don't talk about work all the time

I don't go to every co-worker's social gathering

I'm not good at:

Using all of my PTO

Leaving my anxiety at work

We are all a work in progress. Boundaries and rhythms will look different in each season of life. When circumstances change, we will have to reevaluate all over again. The pressure to be perfect won’t help you here. Give yourself grace as you practice Sabbath and implement boundaries. God wants good for you! Trust Him to help you figure it out.

Question: What boundary can you set this week with your work?

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[1] A lot of the “boundaries” content comes from Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend and their book Boundaries. I highly recommend it. Disclaimer:  I receive commissions for purchases made through links for Amazon.